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Because our country sheds tears when babies die at concerts and on overcrowded boats headed towards what they had hoped would be a better life…shaking our heads and clicking our teeth at the senseless deaths and crying mothers who’s arms are now empty…then change the channel secretly glad it’s not our children dying.

Because unaccompanied minors are still being locked in cells awaiting their fate…orphans in a strange land. 

Because mothers living in poverty caused by the horror of past colonialism and present day apathy and greed still have to choose the unthinkable…impossible…improbable because they can’t stand to hear the sound of their babies slowly starving. Guadalupe Hidalgo still whispers in the mesa in her native tongue “Where are my children? What happened to my children?”

Because violence begets violence begets violence and so on…from the whipping post to the privatized prison doors.

Because this is happening, has been happening, and will continue to happen and we can’t bear to go deeper than a hashtag.

Because we want to rant and rave about institutions doing it wrong, telling everyone staring at their tiny screens looking for distraction who agree with us, but never look at the harm we do to others every single day.

Because punching reporters and raging on brown-skinned people in Walmart lines screaming at them to go back to a country that isn’t their home (because they are home) won’t dull the aching truth that deep inside we know something is broken and Jesus is weeping that we took His command to clothe, feed, visit, and love as merely a suggestion. 

I read warsan shire, Baldwin, Ture, Davis, and hooks and I sing Fannie Lou Hamer songs to remind me that good people don’t just sit and do nothing while the world is on fire. And I read His words, Chan, Day, and King to remind me that prayer is active not passive and ashen-faced without bite. Empathy and tears are air sandwiches to the desperate, sick, and starving while we sit in comfort with a full plate. 

Don’t turn away. Likewise, don’t sit, stare, and consume the fed narrative of paralytic malaise without cure. 

You are the cure. Your arms, your bank account, your body and mind engaged in a community meeting, your voice, your sweat. You.

Tanya Torp
Words inspired this morning after reading this poem.
what they did yesterday afternoon
by warsan shire
grief-reactionthey set my aunts house on fire

i cried the way women on tv do

folding at the middle

like a five pound note.

i called the boy who use to love me

tried to ‘okay’ my voice

i said hello

he said warsan, what’s wrong, what’s happened?
i’ve been praying,

and these are what my prayers look like;

dear god

i come from two countries

one is thirsty

the other is on fire

both need water.
later that night

i held an atlas in my lap

ran my fingers across the whole world

and whispered

where does it hurt?
it answered

everywhere

everywhere

everywhere.

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Don’t Settle: 2017 Commencement Address

Last night I had the honor of giving the Commencement Address at the graduation of my young single mothers for the organization I work for, Step By Step.  The school they were graduating from is an alternative high school for pregnant young women or young mothers with little ones.

10 of the graduates received services through our program.  Watching them, nervous and excited and bustling around the room full of energy, filled me with such love.  They made it past every struggle imaginable.  It was an incredible honor to watch them be recognized for this accomplishment.

 This was addressed directly to them.

 

Don’t Settle

When I was born, the doctors broke my legs because I was so bow-legged, my legs needed correction.  When it was time to crawl, my legs were still in braces so I scooted across the room on my bottom on the floor.  I made thumping noises every time I moved, a combination of the metal braces hitting the floor and my scooting so my parents gave me the nick name “Thumper”.

Thump thump.  Scoot.  Thump thump . Scoot.

 I guess neighbors below our apartment were getting annoyed at the noises I made…thinking me to be a dog or a large rabbit because they always heard my mom call out “come here thumper” and I would scoot across the room. They knew there was a baby in the house because of the crying, but they thought there was a dog too.  There was no dog.

Thump thump.  Scoot.  Thump thump. Scoot.

One day, the neighbors came to make a complaint.  The dog would have to go if it could not be trained to keep it down and stay quiet.  My mom didn’t skip a beat as she invited them in to see her daughter trying to persist as best she could across the floor with baby braces on her legs. Embarrassed, the neighbors apologized several times and said I could continue to scoot as I got better.

It took 2 years but that scoot turned into a walk and not long after that a run.

My mom tells me that when I could finally run, I was happier than she had ever seen me.  Finally, I could do what others were able to do.  Finally, I was who I was meant to be, complete and whole. I may have gotten a bit behind my peers through my circumstances, but I caught up quickly.

This is the third graduation at Family Care Center I have been fortunate enough to attend. Working with young mothers at Step By Step has shown me the perseverance of young women like the graduates in this room.  Many of you have faced situations where you have had to thump around on your bottom while your peers have been running and jumping.  You faced epic setbacks, disappointments, and judgement and had to keep on pushing forward.   But, you have also faced joy, support, and a little side eye from Ms Wyteria (one of the instructors) when you tried to tell her you couldn’t do something she knew perfectly well you could.

I’ve walked these halls and spent time with many of you in class as you worked hard to finish so that you could reach this day.  You earned it and you deserve it.

So, what can I say that will leave an impression with young women who have had to fight, bite, and claw their way into success when some people in their lives never believed they would make it?  When sometimes THEY themselves believed they would never make it?

What do I say to young women who pushed themselves past exhaustion, past late night feedings, past arguments with baby’s fathers and sometimes one another?  What wisdom can I give young women who have an entire lifetime in front of them but may not know what step to take next?

What do I say to young women who have had the love and support from their families, educators, mentors, and outside agencies help them succeed but who often look in the mirror and still wonder “Am I good enough”?

What do I say to young women who despite all of the obstacles…set a goal and reached it right here in these very walls?

Don’t Settle.

Don’t settle for this being your last success.  Your one accomplishment outside of your children.  Your one try at being who you were created to be.  Go to college.  Learn a trade.  Be the boss at your job.  If it is a job that you don’t like–show up with an awesome attitude and wow that employer with your drive and dedication.  See yourself rise from your position to a supervisor and beyond.  Don’t become the person working a job you hate for the rest of your life because you were too scared to keep going.

Don’t Settle.

Don’t settle for toxic relationships.  You did not push yourself to achieve something so hard to sit down and be talked to in ways that are disrespectful and hurtful.  Don’t settle for partners in your life that take more from you than they give.  Don’t settle for liars.  Cheaters.  Hitters. Sweet talkers…anyone that does not bring what you bring to the relationship.  Because you bring dedication to completing your high school career.  Dedication to putting your child first.  Dedication to reach a goal.  You were not made to pay someone else’s bills, or be ill-treated, or to take someone else’s leftovers.  You were meant to be able to stand on your own two feet and to wait for a partner worthy of your time who is full of respect, honor, hard work, and faithfulness.

And what about friendships?  Ladies, true friends push you to be your best self.  They do not allow you to get away with excuses and “Maybe one day I wills”.  They support you and tell you that someday is now and ask you when you plan on beginning.  They don’t allow you to sit in mediocrity.  If your friends are anything less than pushing you towards being a better person…they are not for you. Don’t settle for drama.  Don’t settle for anger and confusion.  Look for those friends who are kind, do not lead you into danger, and have your best interests at heart.

Do not settle for relationships in your life that will keep you from being the best you that you can be.

Don’t settle.

Don’t settle for a stagnate life.  Give your children the gift of travel and a well-rested mother with boundaries. Don’t settle for feeling trapped.  Don’t settle for staying in the same situations in your life for too long.  Tonight is a beautiful beginning.  Sit in it.  Catch your breath from all of your hard work.  Appreciate it.  But don’t sit so long that you get comfortable and complacent and forget that you have plans for your life beyond here.

Don’t settle.

Don’t settle for a future marred by the mistakes of your past.  You are not your past.  You are not your mistakes.  You are not your flaws.  You are not your fears.  You are more.  More than you ever thought you would be and more than you ever thought you were. Hold your head up high. Repeat it to yourself every single day.  “I deserve to take my place in this world and I am going to be great”.

I am standing here looking at incredible women who have beaten grim statistics.  You are royalty.  You are the standard.  As you walk away with Family Care Center at your back and your future just ahead of you, recognize that you are more than enough. Strive for excellence in all that you do. Ask for help when you need it. Asking for help is a sign of strength.   Turn off the television.  Put down your cell phone.  Pay attention because there is opportunity all around you.  I’m counting on you to make this world a better place…not just to exist in it. Your children are counting on you to show them what it means to work hard and rise above your own expectations.  The world is counting on you to not just be good…but to be great.

Take that thump thump thump across the living room floor and learn to run!

Congratulations Class of 2017.

 

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